Marriage Preparation: North-east Berkshire

Within the course we use a range of materials to encourage dialogue between the couples - sometimes one to one with each other & sometimes in open dialogue with the group (always being respectful of desires for privacy & never forcing anyone to talk openly to the group unless they wish to do so). We include white boarding sessions to draw out the reasons why the couples are getting married, what their expectations of marriage are (collectively & individually), what conditions make for good/bad communication & why they have chosen to get marriage in church etc.

For materials we make use of the "His & Hers Marriage Preparation Questionnaires" published by the Redemptorists along with several others which are simply photocopies - such as:

• The 3 Way Mirror exercise (Me yesterday, Me Today, Me Tomorrow)
• God, Me & My Partner
• In My Childhood (questions on each person's experiences of family life & relationships)
• How well do I know my partner, how well do I know myself & how well does my partner know me

Some of the materials are left with the couples to complete during the week, before the next session to promote continued discussion focus between sessions.

In the Communications session we also use 2 videos:

1. An excerpt from Shirley Valentine - illustrating how carefree & light hearted Shirley & her husband were when they first met & how their relationship had changed 20 years later (what happened to all the dreams & expectations ?)
2. An excerpt on recognising & resolving Conflict from the Maudelene Communications / Catholic Marriage Care "Marriage What it Takes" video.

Finally in session 3 we spend time on each of the vows that will be made during the marriage service - exploring the meaning of each in some depth.

At the end of each 3 week course we ask the couples for feedback on what they thought of the course, how it compared to any pre-conceptions & if they found it useful/helpful & raised questions that they had not discussed with their partner before. We also ask for input on any areas they would like to have spent more or less time on. 

Based on the feedback we have received the course seems to work well in achieving its objectives of ensuring that couples: have thought through the reasons they are getting married; have discussed their hopes & expectations; recognise the importance of open communication; have a constructive approach to recognising/resolving conflict and acknowledge the sanctity of marriage & the importance of how children are raised as Catholics.

Grant & Fidelma Grant
Maidenhead St Joseph

Maria Brett
St Joseph's Parish
Tel: 01628 783988

email: stj.presbytery@gmail.com